Wiedergeboren
by Lybe
Summary: Emotions for him skyrocketed immediately upon my meeting him; although, it began with a predominant feeling of infatuation. For a young boy, he had been and still was was extremely handsome with tousled, ebony locks that adorned a moderately pale...
1. Prologue: The Beginning

_A/N: Before you even begin this, I would like to say that the character pairing(s) will involve maleXmale relationships (a.k.a. yaoi, shounen-ai, etc...) so if this isn't your particular cup of tea, I kindly ask you to use the mouse to click the [BACK] button. It's simple, if you don't like it, don't read it. It's useless trying to waste your time on this if you are only going to flame it because flamers will not be tolerated._

_This is my first assessment to this story, and this is also the first time that I have ever posted a fanfiction, so I do apologize if it seems strange. I'd like to say that this is MY OWN IDEA, and that it will develop as the story goes along (the plot is there; it is just jumbled in my mind, so the updates will not be extremely frequent...) Please do forgive the complex title, but it will play it's part... _

_Disclaimer:Kuroshitsuji and all of its characters belong to their creator. I only claim the plot that will develop for the purposes of this fanfiction..._

_Alrighty then__, get started!_

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**Prologue: The Beginning**

Emotions for him skyrocketed immediately upon my meeting him; although, it began with a predominant feeling of infatuation. For a young boy, he had been and still was was extremely handsome with tousled, ebony locks that adorned a moderately pale complexion and intense sapphire eyes that I'd often find myself lost in. Yes, it began that way—from the moment I laid eyes on him, it couldn't have been helped. I wasn't even aware that I'd had a heart until the organ had begun to pound furiously in my chest when the boy had pursed his lips and let my new given name roll off of his tongue—Sebastian Michaelis. He'd charmed me inevitably. Ironic, since I was the demon here...

Although, all these lustful feelings had sprung forth at once, I had to learn a sense of control. My purpose now was to serve the young lad... my young _lord._ As a demon, this proved to be rather difficult at times. In a stereotypical manner, I resembled the sins of man, their downfalls, and their shortcomings. Self-discipline, which I _had_ to leash, was a very difficult thing to obtain and have complete hold over. Often, my imagination ran off on a whim; it was ignited by simple, play-on gestures that the young master was not aware of, and also, by the requests made by him. Dressing him was something I enjoyed, obviously, because it was one of those times when I had the chance to admire his slender, developing body. My desires had to be dealt with in a different state of mind, one far from my line of thinking that had to do anything with serving my lord. There was absolutely nothing that I could control that was going to interfere with my duty.

Yes, it began that way, but the swift coming of complex emotions engulfed me even before I was given the opportunity to put an end to them. It was one of those many things that had no specific reason, that came to taunt you and follow you to the ends of the world, a shadow of yourself that came mock you by morphing into the object of your deepest desires at times of weak tolerance. Believe me, I wanted ever so badly to detach myself from such useless feelings..._But how could I? _I asked myself repeatably. My responsibility was to serve my master, to protect him from harm, and to obey his command. How would have I been able to choke off such strong feelings when my life revolved around the boy?

Again, self-control was the key here. Lust was a retched thing I had to cope with, and I was coping, however, much poorer now than I had during previous times. For years, I had learned to serve Ciel all while resisting my mind's games of twisted, make-believe fantasies. For years, I'd kept silent, much against my devious nature. For years, I had been the perfect butler... And now, after all these years, I found that I was growing impatient, that I was wearing down my tolerance, that I was progressively seeing a change in my sense of control.

Now that Ciel was of older age, he could make his own choices, he could decide for himself what was right and wrong, and as much as my small conscious bid against it... I was going to set play to possibly the most treacherous scheme of the all. I was going to use the art of indirect persuasion to influence my lord, for now that he was a teen, his views could be altered easily. Beneath the bindings of my contract, I was going to show Ciel that he was the only one in charge of his life and that society could not rule over him and decide for him what his life was going to be like.

Even if it was primarily in spite of my own selfishness, I was going to be the one to show the teen what it would be like to fall for a soulless creature such as myself. I was going to make him want me the way I'd been desperately wanting him, that he could not live without me the way I could not live without him, that love burned you with a fiery passionate rage of obsession, that it made you want to scream and laugh and cry all at the same time...

I was going to drown him in the sweetly sickening melody of my heartstrings' song until it would drive him to the brim of insanity, until he could no longer stand it, until he could no longer resist me.

He was going to be mine.

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_A/N: Oh, I forgot to mention something at the beginning. I have extremely low self-esteem, so if you readers want this to continue on, then please do take the time to review. Really, it means a lot to me. It doesn't have to be much. Just let me know what you all think of this, and if you can kindly suggest any improvements that need to be made, then, please, kindlydo so. Positive thoughts on this will help me to continue, and hopefully, complete this fanfiction._

_~Lybe_


	2. Jealous Realization

_A/N: In case you are skipping ahead and NOT reading my author note, I would once again like to say that the character pairing(s) will involve maleXmale relationships (a.k.a. yaoi, shounen-ai, etc...) so if this isn't your particular cup of tea, I kindly ask you to use the mouse to click the [BACK] button. It's simple, if you don't like it, don't read it. It's useless trying to waste your time on this if you are only going to flame it because flamers will not be tolerated._

_I thank the readers that were kind enough to leave a review. It brought out a great sense of motivation that I grabbed onto._

_Disclaimer:Kuroshitsuji and all of its characters belong to their creator. I only claim the plot that will develop for the purposes of this fanfiction..._

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**Chapter 1: Jealous Realization**

The master gazed blankly up also staring upon the ominous clouds that rolled across the dark sky. He rutted his fingers against the table, sighed, and took a sip of the Earl Grey tea we'd been served before sullenly sighing once more.

"And to think that I actually wanted be out in town today," he mumbled, "what terrible timing..."

"We may go home now if it is what you wish," I stated before taking a sip of my own tea. It wasn't necessarily that I was thirsty; at least, I did not have the type of thirst humans did, but my time, over the past four years with Ciel, had been spent this way-- acting more and more like a human.

Once the boy's health had gotten better, he'd decided that every once in a while an outing was necessary. He'd been bedridden for only a short amount of time (around a year, nothing compared to what it could have been, so it was short), but it had had its effect on him. He wanted to be out, wanted to be away from the room in which he'd spent excessive amounts of time in. So, casually, we'd take a trip out every week or so and find ourselves a nice little place where we could have a bite to eat. It was part of our newly established routine. Well, 'newly established' as of two years ago.

"No, no... what would be the point in that? We made it all the way out here, so why not enjoy ourselves?" Ciel lifted his fork and stole a piece of apple tart from his plate before taking it into his mouth. "Besides, it's your day out too, Sebastian. You do enough; you deserve at least one day off," he admitted to himself.

"I do not mind. It's my duty as your butler to tend to you, Ciel." I remitted.

The habit of using the young master's first name had stuck, even after he'd remembered it for himself. It had been a few months afterward—around four months after the incident of the London Fire—that Ciel had regained back several of his memories that revolved around his early childhood. I remember well exactly how he'd sat up in bed during the early hours of morning and told me of his revelation. They'd come back to him in the form of dreams. They were both vague and clear at the same time, just as he would have remembered them if he'd never had amnesia.

Before he'd told me what he'd seen in his sleep, I had worried much, for it was not planned for him to recover those thoughts so early on. I was extremely grateful that he'd been given false memories of his parents' death. That alone would have been far too much to handle on a mental level for the boy. There was no need for him to relive the turmoil in his past life.

The truth was that _I_ had been the direct cause of his memory loss, and it had taken a great and guilty toll on me, even if it was for the master's own good. It was not necessary for the boy to realize the torment of his past. No, especially not when he'd woken up for the first time after I'd taken him away to...

"_I must not let my thoughts trail there,_" I thought hastily to myself.

"We may stay out here as long as you like. I'm only concerned that you do not catch a cold in this freezing, spring weather." I eyed the clouds that loomed over Brighton to bring my mind back to the present. There was a definite chance of rain. I could smell it in the atmosphere and feel the humidity crawl beneath the articles of my clothing even as we sat inside.

Ciel glared at me suspiciously, and I knew exactly what for. He'd devoured almost all of his early-evening dessert, while I on the other hand, still had yet to touch mine. Nonchalantly, I took a small sample and swallowed it without paying the young master any mind. His eyes drifted off from my person, satisfied that I'd finally eaten something, and redirected themselves out toward the street where he watched the pedestrians shop.

We sat there in the tiny restaurant about a quarter of an hour more. Ciel discussed a number of certain topics, many of which revolved around London and the city crimes which were posted in the newspaper. His interest in these particular subjects had never left him.

In fact, there were many parts of his personality that had not changed at all. He was still rather curious, still rather stubborn, and still, much to my surprise, just a tad bit suspicious of me. Although, Ciel never quite seemed to understand why nowadays, I still had to keep a more careful watch of my behavior, restricting myself from _my_ ways even more than I would have believed possible.

He shouldn't ever have to learn of my true self, of what I truly was.

"Ready to leave?" I questioned. It had gotten especially dark over the past fifteen minutes, and the civilians who had been out began to scurry worriedly about the town.

"Yes, I am."

We stood from the table, and I took notice of how tall the young master had grown. The very tip of his head came to the edge of my lips, conveniently. I knew I wouldn't ever have to go far to steal a simple kiss from the lad.

"What are you staring at, Sebastian?"

"I was only thinking," I lied, "that we should head home before the downpour begins." It was part of the truth. But there it was again... the suspicion.

Ciel's lips pulled into half-halfhearted smile, something they did often. The boy took the lead as we exited from the small place. We were immediately greeted by a chilled gust of wind that blew rapidly through Brighton. Our clothing rustled helplessly while we walked against it to head home.

It was hardly ten minutes later that we found ourselves out of town when the first droplet of rain fell carelessly to the ground. The master and I did not quicken our pace. Instead, we continued on as we saw a second drop, then a third, a fourth, a fifth, and so many more that it became difficult to keep count in the cascading downpour. Our umbrella shielded us which was the main reason for our calm, collective behavior.

There was no reason to rush, and it remained that way until a frail figure in the distance came into view. It dashed and came to to approach us. When close enough, we could found the once far-off figure to be a woman-- a desperate, tired, young woman.

"Oh, thank goodness," she huffed. Her dress clung heavily upon her petite body; her lengthy hair matted around her face, her cheeks flushed from the cold.

She eyed the young master and me more precisely now, and a spark of interest flickered in her eyes as they landed upon Ciel. My stomach churned. I decided immediately, perhaps out of jealousy, that I did not favor this woman.

As much as I silently protested against it, I stood out of the dry, protected area the umbrella had created so that the woman and Ciel would remain free from the rain. It was the polite thing to do, not what I had wanted. I don't believe that the girl would have thanked me as graciously as she did if she had known what I was thinking.

"Thank you, Sir," said the dame out of breath. She seemed out of place, not necessarily of high class, but one could not call her a low class citizen either. Had she not been soaked, she would have been dressed rather decently in her fine, chocolate brown dress. "I can't even begin to tell you how long I've been wandering out here," she admitted aimlessly, "I lost my escort some while earlier, and I haven't a clue where the next town is."

I eyed Ciel in my peripheral vision. He pulled out a handkerchief from the breast pocket of his uniform and handed it to her; although, I wished that he wouldn't have. She smiled, and Ciel returned the gesture with a grin of his own.

That disturbed me.

"Would you mind if I asked where you were heading?"

"Brighton," she answered Ciel after wiping off her face.

"Oh, then you aren't too far from it; we just left there not to long ago." Ciel glanced back at me. He seemed particularly interested in assisting the young dame. "Sebastian, how long have we been walking?"

"Around twenty minutes," I adverted my gaze back to the girl who was still sizing up my master with her hazel eyes. "If you continue walking up this path, you'll be there soon enough."

Her face filled with a sense of relief. The girl seemed content enough with that.

"Thank you. Really, you've helped me out more than you can imagine."

A bow was taken on her part; her drenched dress was pulled as she curtsied to show her gratitude. Personally, I was glad the the maiden had begun to take her leave. Then, just as I turned, just as I was about to forget the annoying woman, the master spoke.

"Would you like an escort?" He called to her as she stood expectantly in the rain.

"It's fine. I can find my way around once I've been given a reference. It's just such a relief that I've been heading in the right direction," she paused and another emotion flickered throughout her face. It was as if she wanted Ciel to protest and urge her that walking alone would not be accepted.

To say it boldly, she wanted more time with _my_ master.

"There's no need for it," she reassured when Ciel did not reply to her silent, unnoticed request, "You two have been a great help."

Self-satisfied, she turned from us and made her way further out just when my master called out to her once more.

"_Can't he just let her leave?"_ I thought irritably. There wasn't anything particularity _ordinary_ about the girl, but surely that couldn't have caught Ciel's attention... Could it have?

"Here," Ciel said.

How often little did humans see something that held meaning for the word 'remarkable' in their eyes? It was rare--even for extraordinary entities such as myself-- to bear witness to such occurrences. Ciel was no exception to this; he never ceased to amaze me.

I watched as my once cold master put on a kind and caring smile as he genuinely handed our umbrella over to the now beaming girl.

"_Disgusting, absolutely disgusting,"_ scowled my voice within my mind. I was revolted to a point beyond belief not because of the good Ciel had done, but with the woman who affably accepted the generous offer in return. If only she knew of the veracious faces of my master and I, if only she knew of the hardships the young master had been through, then she would not have gleefully smiled back at Ciel the way she currently did so.

With one more word of thanks, she trotted off, an extra skip in her step now that her mood had been lifted. As unhappy as I was, I said not a word to Ciel as we continued the rest of our sodden journey home in the freezing rain.

I already admitted that I was jealous. No one else knew about the pain and suffering the boy had silently endured for the majority of his life. His chance for happiness had been destroyed early on, and although it had led him to me, it was wrong to say that this was something to be grateful for. Before his amnesia, the boy was not proud of this, but he had taken pride in his quest for revenge. It was needless to say that absolutely no one understood Ciel the way that I did. And even if the boy did not remember the real reason for my being here with him, I would not let anyone steal him away from me, for he was too precious and far too worth my time.

Besides the sound of the oncoming downpour, everything else remained noiseless as we made our way home. It was evident that he was content with his actions, that he indeed was glad with what he had done for the young woman. My jaw tightened. I did not care that the strong ties of possession bound me to this boy; I did not care that the ties tore at my heart. He was everything to me now, and though he had done absolutely nothing wrong, I was uneasy.

I was simply petrified, for the Ciel that I knew would not have batted an eye at her, regardless of her beauty. No, absolutely not! The Ciel that I knew only held one thing close to him, only had one dire need to carry on in the world.

That one crucial need had been I...

It was only when the boy began to shiver that I removed my thick, woolen coat to cover him. I was upset with the lad, but I could watch him shiver no longer. It kept him warm for the remainder of the time that we took to complete the trip home. I, on the other hand, was soaked, but I did not mind the rain. I wasn't capable of catching any colds; however, my master was still slightly prone to them.

"Thank you," he had mumbled peacefully.

That was the only set of words exchanged between us until we reached a little, rustic cottage that sat on top of a hill on the far, distant outskirts of town.

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_A/N: So everyone, sorry for the delay. This was meant to be posted quite some time ago and it is my desktop computer that you can thank for that. It crashed on me with all my documents in it, so I had to battle the thing to retrieve all of my personal files._

_Again, thanks to all of the reviewers! It helped a lot, so I would greatly appreciate your opinion on this chapter as well. I understand that not much 'action' went on (even though it was supposed to originally) but I decided that what I had planned will fit better into the next chapter. Still, your constructive criticism is very much appreciated. I look forward to reading your reviews._

_~Lybe_


	3. Disgraceful Reflections

_A/N: Greetings to you all! Obviously, here is the next assessment to this story, and I do hope that you will all enjoy it! Personally, I find this chapter my most 'active' one yet (if you all understand what that may mean)._

_This is IMPORTANT! __READ THIS_: _I don't believe that I mentioned it in my previous author notes, but I will be changing the rating from **'T'** to **'M' **on this once I post the next chapter. Just letting you know that incase you haven't already put this on alert and plan on searching for it in the future..._

_I also send thanks to all of my reviewers. At the bottom of this page in my ending author note, I have made a list of all of those who reviewed in the past chapters. Thank you so much! I smile whenever I read them._

_Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji and all of its characters belong to their creator. I only claim the plot that will develop for the purposes of this fanfiction..._

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**Chapter 2: Disgraceful Reflections**

The girl... the girl... the girl...

That reoccurring thought echoed repeatedly throughout my mind. It was pitiful; really, it was. To think that a mere human girl, of all things, set me off this much irked me. Under ordinary circumstances, she would have been another passerby; however, she had eyed Ciel up and down. She was definitely peculiar; she had approached us without any sign of hesitation and also had been bold enough to _flirt _immediatelywith the boy in front of me.

For that, I despised her.

She was a threat.

A bloody threat!

"Ow, Sebastian, that's too rough," a familiar voice intercepted.

Ciel ineptly tried to reach behind him to keep me from scrubbing his back vigorously as I had been. I did not mean to, but the very thought of the annoying girl made something within me flare angrily.

"Forgive me, Ciel. My mind was elsewhere. I'm sorry if I have hurt you."

"No, it's fine," the master admitted. His hand reclined back into the sudsy, soap bubbles around him. "Continue, please. The water is starting to get cold."

"Well, suppose that we would have had something to _block_ us from the rain...you wouldn't be freezing in the bath now, would you?"

Ciel did not respond to that, for it was the truth.

By the time Ciel and I had reached home, we were soaked down to our undergarments. I could have cared less; I'd quickly made way to my room and grabbed a spare change of clothes. My hair had been (and still was) dripping wet; however, I would take care of myself later. I had told Ciel to wait in the foyer so that he wouldn't track puddles around the cottage.

Once the shivering teen had been wrapped in a towel, I'd led him to the master bathroom and filled the tub with warm water. Ciel had sighed delightfully when he'd made contact with the heated liquid. While readying a washcloth, I watched how the boy's tense body uncoiled instantaneously. His upper back muscles had rippled when he rolled his shoulder blades around to get comfortable in the bath. He'd sighed, momentarily relieved of the cold.

Difficult... That had been the word to describe the ongoing fight against myself. This had always been where my sense of control seemed to slip loose. How could Ciel modestly sit there in the tub—looking as tempting as he did—without realizing what he was doing to me? This constant emotion of want was unnerving and corrupted my thinking process. It left me absolutely helpless in the face of my desires.

Just then, having caught me staring as he had earlier on, his head lolled back on the the rim of the tub so that he was glancing at my person upside-down. The master's delicate, moist neck was in perfect view, exposed, and I _tried_ to focus instead on what the boy had asked: to begin washing him.

So I had. Currently, after having finished giving Ciel a full body scrub (which as just as challenging as anything else), I replaced the washcloth I had in my hand with tiny, brass bucket and began rinsing the boy with lukewarm water.

He was completely bare beneath me. There were so many things I could have been doing other than just cleansing the boy. But these thoughts, if pondered on for a lengthy amount of time, would eventually turn into actions. Not that _I _would mind; yet, for the best, I decided to keep a conversation going to distract me from any impulsive notions.

"Ciel, I don't understand why we couldn't have taken a carriage to begin with," I said, throwing the first, shapely thought I could process out into play.

"You know I don't like them," he whispered.

The master had developed a minor case of claustrophobia, in which tightly enclosed spaces frightened him. In one of his false memories—he'd told me—he'd been kidnapped and trapped in a cellar until I'd supposedly rescued him. Realistically, this false memory had been based immediately after his parents had been murdered, when he'd called upon me that fateful day so that I could come to serve him.

He did not know that, though. He did not know that I wasn't _human_. Another false memory had sincerely made him believe that I had always been a butler of his family household. Ciel had far too many false memories of his past, but if it kept him from the harrowing truth... it could be dealt with.

"Well," I started, not meaning to make the master feel uncomfortable, "not only would we not have gotten wet, but it would have saved us time as well," said I. "And we wouldn't have run into that girl," I muttered more over to myself.

"Why?" Ciel asked, already over his mini-episode. He'd obviously heard what I'd said. "There wasn't a thing wrong with her."

"Excuse me? Master, please forgive me for saying this: She seemed unusual."

"What do you mean? She was lost," Ciel explained with defense.

"It could have been a hoax to get our attention. She seemed to know where she was going," I pointed out.

"She was harmless."

"She came to us without even thinking twice about it. We could have killed her."

"_Well, I could have_," I chuckled mentally.

"She needed help. I believe that I would have done the same," Ciel shot back with a little more volume amplifying his voice.

Without giving any warning, I took a full bucket of water and spilled its contents over Ciel's head. A good amount of it must have gotten in his mouth because he spat some out furiously. While he was occupied with that, I drained the tub and completely finished rinsing the rest of his body.

"Sebastian!" He glared at me with both of his royal, sapphire eyes. Something indignant flickered within them. "What was that for?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about," I coaxed sarcastically.

So much for starting a conversation...

I took one of the towels I'd lain out, and covered Ciel's nude body with it. It would have been a waste of a warm bath had I left him here alone after what he'd said.

"_How can he defend that girl_," I thought. And the answer to that was because he was a human, an ignorant human who was blind to my feelings toward him.

Ciel turned from me. I understood that he was upset, and that he did not want to be touched. He dried his body rather hastily, and I held out the clothes I'd prepared for him. He took them with out a word, also hastily placing them upon his body. At one point, I caught him fumbling with the buttons of his pajama shirt. He sighed in frustration but would not ask for my assistance.

After two full minutes, I took it upon myself to help him out regardless of his stubborn attitude.

"You know what I think this is about?" He started, still tremendously displeased with me, "I think you're just jealous."

I froze on the spot, leaving the top button of his shirt undone. My head lifted up slowly so that my eyes landed on his in a meticulous manner.

"You see! That's what it is—you're jealous because you fancied her," Ciel stated triumphantly.

Oh, how wrong he was...

All within a second, I towered over the boy, slammed the palm of my hand against the wall behind Ciel, and viciously stepped forward. I was almost certain that my eyes were glowing with rage. How could this boy be so blind? How could he assume that I had eyes for someone other than him?

"S-Sebastian?" Ciel's voice faltered from an accusing tone to a fear filled one.

"_Good, I intimidated him_," was one of my first thoughts.

He was terrified; that much was evident by the way he'd cringed away from me. There was so much more that I wish I could make the boy feel within that instant. I had to admit (as shameful and terrible as it was) that I wanted to hurt Ciel for the words he'd spoken, for the assumption he'd just made. But he had a pure mind when it came to such matters. He did not understand what was going on behind the scenes...

Perhaps it was time to show him.

My head dipped down to meet the boy's surprised face. My lips fell against his before he had the chance to register what was happening. I had him cornered, like predator and prey; he was absolutely defenseless. He had no where to go, no where to turn and escape from me. I savored the moment.

Even though, Ciel was at the ripe age of adolescence, his lips still held the endearing taste of a sweet, childish innocence. He fell back against the wall limply while the courtship continued. Slyly, my tongue slipped agilely passed his lips; it sought more, craved more, needed more of the boy. I hungrily leaned into his smaller frame, forcefully pushing Ciel further into the wall.

He moaned silently in response; however, other than that, there seemed to be no other reaction coming forth from him. It was out of complete shock, I was sure, that the young lad remained motionless. He did not resist me, nor did he accept.

This wasn't what I wanted...

I pulled away from him, disappointed. I'd wanted him to reflect some of the intense emotions I felt in his own actions. It was necessary for there to be some sort of counteraction that I could feed off of so that I could use it to my advantage. Instead, he seemed temporarily empty and lifeless... no words spilled from his lips, no movement riled from him. With our persons detached from each other, the boy only dully began to slide sluggishly down the wall supporting him, his eyes fixed on some distant space that did not exist in this realm.

Instinctively, my hand reached for the young master, for it was always and foremost, the most important task at hand to protect the boy from harm, whether it be physical or mental. At the moment, I had failed that task. I did not mean to startle the boy as much as I had. It was not in his normal character to remain passive in such a situation, which was why I had taken it upon myself to take action now. That, and the anger I possessed—which had come to life in spite of his misunderstanding—had fueled me. However, seeing that I was undeniably the cause of this effect, watching the scene before me felt almost unbearable.

"Master?" I questioned solemnly while I leaned in to advance toward the teen to lift him up.

In contrast to my effort to comfort the boy, the response remained as before; the eerie silence lingered in the room, making me worry more than I would have thought possible. It was once my fingertips brushed ever so slightly against his left cheek that, suddenly, something animate stirred within him. His azure eyes lit in a furious rage upon me, his muscles relaxing then tensing instantaneously. I saw it coming; his right arm flexed quicker than his left—

_Slap!_

Although, it'd only stung the second that the impact had taken place, there was a continuous, burning sensation on the area of which Ciel's hand had made contact with my own flesh cheek. Slowly, I turned my attention back toward him, my eyes dancing wickedly upon the sight before me: the young master's face had become flushed from being pale, and a definite spark of confusion invaded his now wide, sapphire eyes.

He mumbled something incoherent, and then with an outburst of new found energy yelled, "Get out!" with his voice pitching recklessly.

"You'll catch a cold if your hair is still wet like that," I answered curtly; although, it did not match how I felt.

There was the urge to grin devilishly upon the young lord; although, I fought it. This was _just_ the kind of reaction I'd been desperately wishing for, other than the one where he would have openly taken me. However, I definitely knew that that would not have been the case. Things would be a little uneasy from here on in, but at least the first step had finally been taken.

I reached for another one of the dry towels off of the bed post, only to have it ripped violently from my grip.

"I can do it myself! Get OUT!" he howled viciously, "Get out _NOW!"_

"As you wish, my lord."

I had meant to close the door behind me, only to find that Ciel had beaten me to that task as well, and he slammed the door abruptly in a rather frenzied manner. The old frame of the door shook repressively until the tremors died out on their own accord. I listened as the hard pattering of feet also stomped off and fell into what I assumed was the bathroom of the master bedroom. The was a second, violent slamming of another door that resounded even out here in the hallway.

Then, silence dominated sound once more.

Finally clear of the master's view, the devious smirk that I'd been retaining unleashed itself upon entirely my lips. In fact, it remained there even as I found my own room in the two-story cottage. There, I'd grabbed a towel for myself. My thick, dark hair was still damp. I dried it out, trying to engross myself with the task, hoping that I wouldn't lose my temperament and run in after Ciel. Yet, I still felt the smirk tugging at my lips.

"_Such a tasteful kiss_," I thought endearingly.

Of course, I felt somewhat guilty for what I'd done but did not regret it. I would never want to remove that moment of time from my mind. It was wonderful, miraculous, stunning...

I glanced up, only to catch my reflection staring back at me in the mirror. The me in the mirror was smiling of need, of want, of long, broken patience. Since when had I become such a demon that _needed_ anything other than souls from this material world? Since when?

Disgusted, I placed a hand upon my eyes to shield them from examining the strange, perplexed demon butler in the reflection across from me. It was practically disgraceful to see how far I'd be willing to fall for my precious master—for a still mortal being.

Hopefully, that would change...soon.

* * *

_A/N: So, it would mean the world to me if you'd all be kind enough to leave me a little review to let me in on your thoughts. It doesn't have to be long, but I do ask that you try to leave something. You may ask questions (I take a liking to those reviews), or you may simply state what you thought of this._

_Really, it means a lot._

_Oh, I also send thanks to all my previous reviewers. These are the wonderful people that took the time to leave me something special for the first two updates: __PKS, arienrhod, forit911, Wasabi-sama, VivaLaQueen, The Phantom Devil, Kim, riji, Hwoarang's Wife, wuzzgoinon, Figment of an Imagination, Else, Sleeping Moon, Futaba Hotaru, Diana, uno, Fallen Angel Of The Forgotten, NekoKaigara, BlancEspirit, iPAiNTED, and WindAlias._

_Thanks for reading..._

_~Lybe_


	4. Feverish Actions

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A/N: Alright, so after one month... here it is! I really do apologize for the tardiness. I always mean to post my updates much sooner, but I struggled with this chapter in particular. There was a lot of thinking that went into this, because it sets a base for future chapters. Also, I've been busy... too busy...

Anyway, I thank all of my reviewers, and I apologize for not being able to respond you all this time around. Those of you who were kind enough to leave a recent review (since my last update) will be mentioned in my ending author notes. I do read them all, and honestly appreciate the time that you people take to leave me an after thought.

Oh, I hope you all noticed that the rating changed from **'T' to 'M'**. Those of you who actually read my author notes would have already known that this was coming...

Disclaimer:Kuroshitsuji and all of its characters belong to their creator. I only claim the plot that will develop for the purposes of this fanfiction...

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**Chapter 3: Feverish Actions**

Several days had passed since my exchange with Ciel. To be honest, I'd had absolutely no idea how the young master would've acted around me now that he'd had a taste of my feelings; however, his behavior was pretty predictable.

The boy had been avoiding me to extremes and only requesting my assistance when it was absolutely necessary for him to do so. Let me mention that it was not often.

When we did interact with each other (for example: during our meal times), Ciel would hardly let a word slip from his mouth. He would sit uncomfortably in the chair across from mine, and although he had the choice to eat elsewhere in the cottage, he would not move from his seat until his plate had been cleared. It was then that he would stand, nod his head in recognition, and then retreat to his study where he would occupy himself with books until the boredom would sink in.

I was bored as well. Very, very bored... Without Ciel's factories to run, there was very little that needed to be done in order to keep the lad's estate in balance. Of course, Ciel's teachings also continued once he'd physically recovered from his incident. Just as I was Ciel's butler, I was also still his tutor, and there were plenty of things that the boy could learn. Ending his education would have been a shame, for he was too clever to let his talents go to waste.

Consequently, it had been three days straight that Ciel refused to participate in his lessons. I knew why; he was desperately trying to keep as much distance from me as possible. It was driving me insane! I hated to be kept away as such.

"_Perhaps I shouldn't have turned so quickly on him_," I thought, my mind trailing back to the way I'd pinned him to the wall to steal a part of his innocence away.

Regardless of what I'd done, I'd let three days pass without my teachings in respect of Ciel's wishes. However, I decided that it was time for this silly game to end.

I knocked on the door of the study.

"Yes?" Ciel called out.

"May I come in?"

"Go right on ahead," he replied back.

Ciel was well aware of what I was going to ask, and because I had excused him from his studies for three days now, it was evident that he believed that he would be allowed today off too. Therefore, he smiled confidently behind his book upon my entering the room.

I examined the area around him a little more carefully and noticed that there was an untidy stack of various novels lying carelessly around the couch Ciel occupied.

"I'm glad to see that you've suddenly picked up such an intense interest in reading."

"What are you talking about?" Ciel chuckled nervously, "I've always been like this."

"Oh, so I'm assuming that today you'll be more than eager to jump into your studies then. Is that correct?"

"Hmm," he flipped a page and without looking up said, "No thank you."

"_Since when have you spoken to me this way?_"My jaw dropped, but it did not steer me from my motive.

"Master, I think you misunderstand; it isn't a choice," I tried again, but with no avail; he merely skimmed the pages in front of him.

It was then that I took notice of what he was reading. The worn spine of the book read, "Of the Conscious, Subconscious, and Unconscious".

Despite the bland title, it was a book filled with studies of psychology of the human mind. I'd retrieved it once I'd realized what had become of my master, once I understood that he would no longer be able to recall himself. However, I wasn't particularly interested at all (humans were strange, both predictable and astonishing at once), and through the entire book I found myself questioning certain things.

Alas, if it was for Ciel's sake, it was worth my time.

Although, many of the things written were still theories in the process of being proven, plenty of them made sense. Personally, I'd taken an interest to the memory suppression. I'd read of the causes (which were most often do to head injuries) and the effects (which made the victim suffer from mild to extreme memory loss).

In Ciel's case of amnesia, part of the blame fell upon a traumatic event, and the other part fell upon me. Even though Ciel had been ready to give up... even though he'd been more than willing to feed his soul to me, it simply wasn't enough just to eat the boy and let him slip from existence. Although, I had decided upon this after I'd taken a taste, after I'd slowly begun to devour his detectible, strong-willed soul.

I was surprised that I'd even been able to stop myself from gobbling the boy up. Usually, my hunger would blind me of all other senses and transform me into the gruesome demon I really was. But Ciel was special... a deeper bond full of convoluted emotions that I felt for the boy kept me from him, had kept him safe, had caused me to back away and glare in unadulterated horror at the near-dead beauty that had lain before me.

The realization that I had practically caused the death of my love struck me with impenetrable force. From that point, I had done everything in my power to save my precious Ciel's life.

"_But that is beside the point, for now..." _I sighed once I understood that my mind had wondered off yet again. I glanced back at Ciel who was still engulfed the book, and I scowled, "_But what, of all things, caused him to pick up that book among all the others here?"_

And then it hit me—perhaps the boy was beginning to remember.

Impulsively, I briskly walked up to the master and swiftly replaced the book in his hand with a pamphlet of music. He was not pleased by any means. In fact, he seemed rather irritated, but the teen's anger could not surpass my own at the moment.

"Sebastian!"

I slammed my hand down on the mini-table aside him which caused the boy to jolt in his seat.

"Whether you like it or not," I stated sternly, "today you will be playing violin! No questions asked, no comments needed. Is that understood?"

Shocked with my up-tone of voice, Ciel meekly stared back at me. I couldn't help but lose myself in those eyes of his, though. They seemed to be studying me, searching for the reason beneath my sudden flare of authority. I searched his face as well, but for different reasons. His beauty was real, undeniable even. I skimmed over his lips—which were firm, yet soft—just before taking notice of a heavy blush that painted Ciel's normally pale features. Not only that, but heat was radiating from the my master's body was also unusual.

I meant to say something, but when I traced my way back to his sapphire gems, the shock had already vanished from them. He pushed me away, flipped open to a musical piece in the pamphlet, snatched the violin from me, and answered, "Fine, I'll play."

And he did so. For an half an hour straight, the boy played without a flaw, without a single word spout in protest. Elegantly, his fingers danced along the stings while his other arm moved in rhythm to strike each and every note on the mark.

I was surprised that the boy had taken my command to heart, and I knew that he intended to play for a full hour as he normally would during a daily lesson. However, with every minute that ticked by, the blush—which had not retreated—took on darker shades until it spread passed his cheeks. I said nothing; although, I was concerned. Within five more minutes, tiny beads of sweat had begun to form on his forehead. He huffed, held his breath, and continued on playing with his eyes shut.

Clearly the boy was suffering, and I was clueless as to why that was.

"Ciel, stop," I ordered while pulling the violin from the teen. The violin itself screeched back with displeasure.

"No, give it back," he breathed weakly. He attempted to take it; even though, it was out of his reach.

"Are you mad? Of course, I'm not giving it back to you. Ciel—" I placed my hand on his forehead and felt heat even through my glove.

"_He's burning up!"_

"No, I need it back. I need to finish playing!"

"_Where is this coming from all of a sudden?_"

"Ciel, I know for a fact that you aren't that determined to play." He wasn't going to fool me.

"Of course, I'm not! But at least if I finish playing, you'll leave me alone in this room," he muttered the last part to himself.

Something pulled painfully hard at my chest. Those words burned my ears! Immediately, I bit my tongue to keep me from saying anything crude. Clearly, the boy was sick! I could not blame him for anything; even though, I had the urge to throw something through the window just to hear the glass shatter like my heart was doing so at the moment.

I bent to sweep the boy into my arms, but as soon as my hand touched his back, Ciel turned and wistfully slapped me in the face.

"Don't touch me!" He backed away, holding the arm he'd hit me with close to his chest. "Don't you lay a finger on me; I never gave you the permission to!"

I heard an underlying truth in those words. He was still upset about what I had done to him. Was this boy ever going to get passed that? Was he ever going to understand _why_ I had done it in the first place?

He was making me very ill-tempered; that much was for sure. I bit _into_ my bottom lip this time, letting the blood build a vast pool in my mouth before swallowing it. The coppery taste distracted me from the feverish boy and my impulsive thoughts for a few seconds.

Ciel's breaths grew much heavier and needed, but were less frequent now. I realized that if I did not take care of the his fever soon, it was possible that the boy could fall ill for a lengthy amount of time.

Or die, even...

That thought _did not_ please me.

"Ciel!" I exploded, "This isn't a matter of what you want! Now let me carry you to your bedroom, or so be it, I will force you!"

Ciel backed into the couch and used it for support so that he wouldn't trip over the messy pile of books. As if tossing around an idea, he glared at me first blankly then vividly before deciding that he was going to be defiant.

Unable to withstand this childish game, I let some of my demonic speed carry me to the boy so that he would have to time to escape. In a second, I swept his legs from the floor, caught the upper half of his body in my other arm, and lifted him so that all of his weight rested on me.

Surely, I'd stunned the boy, for his eyes were wide and full of fear.

"How in the world—" he spoke disoriented with my impetuous pace, "—did you manage that?"

I chuckled victoriously. He seemed as if he was about to pass out anyway, so why not say something to throw him off the top?

"Well, if you can figure it out, I'll tell you all the details. Sound fair?"

But by the time I'd finished making my proposal, Ciel was laying unconscious in my arms.

I sighed, relieved.

Now that Ciel was out, I could move as speedily as was necessary around the cottage.

First, I took Ciel to his room. I undressed the lad, stripping him of everything but his undergarments, and a loose pair of trousers that I switched with the ones he'd been wearing. I placed him comfortably on the bed then flashed to the window and shot it open to invite a chilly breeze in around the room.

Secondly, I rushed downstairs into the kitchen where I grabbed a bucket broad enough in size that it could fill three large pots to the top. With this item, I led myself out of the back door and to the water pump where I vigorously began to pump the water into the container until full. Immediately, I was back into the kitchen pouring some of the cool liquid I'd retrieved into a large bowl.

Balancing the bowl while dashing back to Ciel's room, I also retrieved two towelettes, a thermometer, medical syrup with a spoon, and a chair. I set all of these items down quietly as to not disturb the master's rest.

Out of sheer curiosity, I checked the clock and smirked. It had only been four minutes and thirteen seconds since Ciel had passed out.

"_Not bad," _I thought to myself. After all, it had been a while since I'd been able to get around walking at my normal pace.

* * *

Ciel had had one hell of a nasty temperature at one hundred and four degrees Fahrenheit. Had I left him longer, and the boy surely would have been off much worse, but for now he was sleeping peacefully. It was thanks to my tentative care that he was better—I'd given him some of the syrup, washed down his body with cool water thrice, and replaced the towelette on his forehead more than ten times—I was sure—before his stubborn fever had eased up.

Where he'd picked up the fever, I was not sure, but he must have had it for a while now. Perhaps it was when we'd gone to Brighton; however, it did not seem to me as if that was the cause. Something else had triggered the matter; I knew it had, but I wanted to assume otherwise.

At least, I'd caught it today, because the teen (with his awkward change of behavior) may not have come to ask me for help at all. Only God knew if the boy would have spoken up.

"_How shameful! My responsibility lies in his care, yet I feel as though I have failed him." _It was but a simple fever; humans were prone to them, so I shouldn't have been blaming myself...

Although, I was. I felt as if I was the reason for a multitude of problems that loomed over the boy's head, especially recognizing the most recent ones. How else could his apathetic attitude toward me be explained?

"_**But at least if I finish playing, you'll leave me alone in this room … Don't you lay a finger on me; I never gave you the permission to!"**_

My heart ached again as I recalled Ciel's words. I wanted to curl and twist to rid myself of the retched feeling I'd had upon hearing them. Even now, they were unbelievably cold and seemed to freeze a part of the warmth I felt for Ciel. Those terrible, icy words...

"_**But at least if I finish playing, you'll leave me alone in this room … Don't you lay a finger on me; I never gave you the permission to!"**_

"_Perhaps he'd hurt me more than I realized,_" I sighed internally. The words continued to echo in my mind, as I watched Ciel's sleeping form. "_Maybe I deserve it,_" I thought absently, and I decided that this was true. Therefore, as punishment, I stood and watched the sleeping boy as those same words reeled over and over throughout my thoughts until I could stand it no longer, until I felt like ripping off my ears, until I wanted to throw myself into a wall.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I grimaced and shut the door half way behind me—trying not to slam it out of pure hatred for my previous actions.

"_If only I hadn't kissed him." _But I would not regret the godsend of that marvelous moment.

While heading for the telephone we kept in a hallway aside from the living room, I searched the contents of my pocket to find a tiny, rectangular slip of paper. I was going to hate doing this; honestly, I was... but If Ciel's real memories were beginning to return, then there was going to be a serious problem. As much as I hated to admit it, I was in dire need of help, for my abilities did not extend into the realm of the mind.

There was someone, however, who had that power, someone who'd help me once before...

_He_ had helped me once before.

With the business card now in my view, I took hold of the receiver and lifted it until I heard the dial tone. Instead of waiting for an operator, I began to spin in the long number from the printed card into the phone dial and was instantly connected to a special line. A different, eerie tone played while I was being connected, and it rang off seven times.

I was beginning to think that no one was going to answer my call, and I removed the receiver from my hear, just when I heard a voice.

"William T. Spears of the Dispatch Management Division," a strict voice answered.

The receiver flew back up to my ear instantly.

"May I speak with Grell Sutcliffe?" The words tasted strange in my mouth as I spoke _his_ name aloud.

"Forgive me, but he is currently out on a mission," William apologized emptily, but I was relieved that I would not have to speak with _that_death god over the phone. "Would this happen to be Sebastian Michaelis by any chance?"

"Yes," I admitted surprisingly. "How did you know?"

William on the other side kept silent for a second. "You're the only one, aside from one more, that requests for him. Did you want to me to pass you through? I can arrange it if it's an emergency, seeing as that is the only time you call on us."

His voice turned frigid over the phone. William never seemed to have gotten over his dislike for me; although, I couldn't say that I fancied him anymore than he did me.

"No, no, really. That won't be necessary," I urged, my hand waving frantically in the air. I did _not_want to speak with Grell on the phone. _Did not!_ I remembered last time all to well. "But would you mind informing him that I called? He'll know what it's for, so I won't be leaving a message of any sort."

"Of course."

"Thank you," I replied, grateful that at least that simple request would be taken care of.

"Oh, so you demons do have manners," I heard him mumble, and before I could spit back a comment at the high-ranking man he said, "I'm _delighted_ to have spoken with you," in a rather sarcastic manner.

Then the line fell dead.

"_Just wonderful,"_ I sighed thinking about the red-headed death god that was to come, "_one more problem to deal with."_

As if there wasn't already enough to think about.

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_A/N: __So leave me a little review, please. I'd like you know what you readers think of this story; however, flamers and their flames **will not be tolerated**. (I mentioned this how many times?) But really, I would appreciate a little review, even its it's short..._

_I send thanks to all my recent reviewers: VivaLaQueen, uno, BlancEspirit, arienrhod, inmemoryoftheMasterRapper, PKS, anon, imaginedreams22, -Sayume-, MuffinPirate, Nixie Dearing, wuzzgoinon, Llyssa-maiden, XxXSilverShadowXxX, liar-just-a-liar, and Min._

_~Lybe_


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